“Illusion is the first of all pleasures,”
-Oscar Wilde
The Doctor and I said our goodbyes and grabbed a cab out front.
Side note: Drinking and driving is unacceptable, in reality and in print.
The Doctor started kissing me in the cab. He is sexy but I feel no sparks and my mind starts to wander:
I wonder how many couples a day make out in the back of this guys cab? He should really keep track; I know the Census doesn’t. I wonder if he watches. I bet he does, I would. Cab drivers must be the horniest people in the work force. I wonder if The Doctor will think I’m strange if I eat after we have sex. Fuck I’m starving! I think I have some left over pizza in the fridge. No wait, I ate that yesterday…
We pull up to my building and he pays the cab. I secretly wish we could have stopped at McDonalds.
“My roommates are probably in bed right now,” I said.
“You have roommates? What are they like?”
“Warped,” I said and opened the door.
We kissed all the way to my room. Its better to keep the mood going when all you can think of is cheeseburgers and horny cab drivers. Also, the living room looked like a war zone.
We pull each other’s clothes off as we made our way to my bed. I was lying on top of him, kissing him and something just didn’t feel right.
I pulled him on top of me and pressed my body hard against his. Okay, something is defiantly not right.
My phone rings. My get out of bed free call!
Side note: Everyone has had a get out of bed free call; you just may not call it that. A get out of bed free call is when a friend calls you after you leave with a guy. The friend is basically calling to give you an out, should you chose to take it. Even called by any other name, a get out of bed free call is essential.
“I’ll just be a second,” I said and pulled the covers aside. I looked down. My eyes widened in shock.
I grabbed my phone, threw on my housecoat and went into the bathroom.
“Max,” I said in my loud whisper voice.
“What’s wrong!” she asked, deeply concerned.
I take a deep breath.
“Uh...how can I say this….The Doctor, uh, doesn’t have a very big ‘practice’…..”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Why do you care abo-”
“Max! He has a very small practice, his PRACTICE is very SMALL!”
“OH! Shit, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like it before. What do I do?”
“Well, how far have you two gotten?”
“Max! Clearly we’ve gotten pretty far,” I said. “We’ve already gotten to the ‘practice’ part!”
“Then sorry honey, your in too deep,” she said laughing. “You have to give me at least a half an hour time bracket to phone you.”
“Yeah, the cab driver was fast,” I said. “I think he was excited about something…”
“Huh?”
“Never mind,” I said. “Alright, well I’m going to go figure this out. I have some wine in the fridge.”
“Okay, but whatever you do, when you go back in there and get going, don’t ask him to put it in,” Max said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because chances are, its already in.”
-Oscar Wilde
The Doctor and I said our goodbyes and grabbed a cab out front.
Side note: Drinking and driving is unacceptable, in reality and in print.
The Doctor started kissing me in the cab. He is sexy but I feel no sparks and my mind starts to wander:
I wonder how many couples a day make out in the back of this guys cab? He should really keep track; I know the Census doesn’t. I wonder if he watches. I bet he does, I would. Cab drivers must be the horniest people in the work force. I wonder if The Doctor will think I’m strange if I eat after we have sex. Fuck I’m starving! I think I have some left over pizza in the fridge. No wait, I ate that yesterday…
We pull up to my building and he pays the cab. I secretly wish we could have stopped at McDonalds.
“My roommates are probably in bed right now,” I said.
“You have roommates? What are they like?”
“Warped,” I said and opened the door.
We kissed all the way to my room. Its better to keep the mood going when all you can think of is cheeseburgers and horny cab drivers. Also, the living room looked like a war zone.
We pull each other’s clothes off as we made our way to my bed. I was lying on top of him, kissing him and something just didn’t feel right.
I pulled him on top of me and pressed my body hard against his. Okay, something is defiantly not right.
My phone rings. My get out of bed free call!
Side note: Everyone has had a get out of bed free call; you just may not call it that. A get out of bed free call is when a friend calls you after you leave with a guy. The friend is basically calling to give you an out, should you chose to take it. Even called by any other name, a get out of bed free call is essential.
“I’ll just be a second,” I said and pulled the covers aside. I looked down. My eyes widened in shock.
I grabbed my phone, threw on my housecoat and went into the bathroom.
“Max,” I said in my loud whisper voice.
“What’s wrong!” she asked, deeply concerned.
I take a deep breath.
“Uh...how can I say this….The Doctor, uh, doesn’t have a very big ‘practice’…..”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Why do you care abo-”
“Max! He has a very small practice, his PRACTICE is very SMALL!”
“OH! Shit, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like it before. What do I do?”
“Well, how far have you two gotten?”
“Max! Clearly we’ve gotten pretty far,” I said. “We’ve already gotten to the ‘practice’ part!”
“Then sorry honey, your in too deep,” she said laughing. “You have to give me at least a half an hour time bracket to phone you.”
“Yeah, the cab driver was fast,” I said. “I think he was excited about something…”
“Huh?”
“Never mind,” I said. “Alright, well I’m going to go figure this out. I have some wine in the fridge.”
“Okay, but whatever you do, when you go back in there and get going, don’t ask him to put it in,” Max said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because chances are, its already in.”